Learning Love in Silence

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Sometimes I look at my mom
and I realise…
I’m slowly becoming her.

And sometimes…
I say bye to my dad
and I realise
how much I never say.

On one side,
I see her
the way she keeps going
no matter what,
no matter how tired she is.

She does so much…
yet carries that quiet feeling
that no one really notices,
no one really appreciates.

Still
the next day, she’s the same
calm
gentle
warm

like nothing ever touched her.

And I don’t know when it started…
but I’m doing the same now
carrying everything quietly
showing up
again and again.

And on the other side
every time I leave my dad
it never feels simple.

It feels heavy…
like I’m leaving behind
words I couldn’t say
feelings I couldn’t hold onto long enough.

That one thought always stays
when will we meet again?

No answer…
just silence.

Oh God…
why this life?
Why give me so much love
in such quiet forms?

One that stays strong without being seen
and one that leaves
before I can say everything I feel.

Is this what I’m here to learn
to love deeply…
but express it silently?

I don’t know…

And in all of this…
there’s just one wish I hold close

that one day
in some quiet moment
they look at me
and feel proud
to have me in their life.

I don’t rush it…
I just wait
hoping…
that someday
I will be enough
to make them proud.

And sometimes…
I wonder about the future too

if I will do justice
to my own children one day
if I can love them
with the same quiet strength
the same endless warmth
you both gave me.

If I can be for them
what you were for me…

even in silence
even when it’s unseen.

I don’t know…

but maybe this love I’m learning now
is slowly preparing me
to give it back
the same way.

And somewhere between her strength
and his goodbyes
I am becoming someone
who feels everything
and says very little.

And maybe…
that’s both my fear
and my gift.

                                                                                                     -Sowmya Raghavan